Ever since
the moment teenagers enter their adolescence – ideas start to shape up about
having sexual intercourse. In fact, having sex is one of the most important
elements of our DNA code because it enables us to continue our lineage as human
beings. So, if you’re a person that’s about to have sex for the first time,
then you may have some questions about it.
First of
all, we must mention the fact that it’s completely okay for you to be nervous
while you’re at it and in the moments leading to it. You’d be surprised at just
how many men have been there before you and have felt just as afraid.
The reason
as to why you may be afraid though may be
because of the fact that you view sex as a performance art. You must not falter – you must be the virile alpha-male like
the men you see in porn. You must rock the girl’s brains out – anything less
than that and you would be deemed unmanly by her and by society as a whole –
and worst of all, by yourself.
Our advice
to you is to stop taking things so seriously. Perhaps it’s indeed the case that
porn has instilled a picture in your mind of sex as a very straight-forward
process where everyone knows their right sex position and what to do at any particular moment. But you need to know that
porn is not reality in some part. You may come to awkward moments and positions
while having sex and this is a normal part of the sex experiences.
And perhaps
it will indeed be the case that you will fumble confusedly during your first
sexual experience. The worst thing to do here is to cling to your (false) image
that you will be a God in bed with a woman. Setting expectations this high may
have the adverse effect of you being too frightened to do anything.
Likewise,
don’t overthink things. Sex should be spontaneous. It’s okay to have a general
outline of the positions that you would like to try out, but the worst thing
that you could do is plan every possible detail of the experience. Don’t try to
be too logical about sex. And don’t ask too many question. There’s not much
more that can kill the entire atmosphere by asking questions such as “Can I put
it there?” or “Can I touch you here, please?”.
You need to
take your role as a man (unless you have some other system for the distribution
of power, but that’s for another article) and be dominant in bed. Girls like
that. Fall back on your primitive male mechanism and you will do just fine. And
even if you stumble while you’re at it – it’s not the end of the world. The
thing to remember here is that practice makes perfect. With time, you will be
able to learn various details that will undoubtedly improve sexual performance in
bed.
