Having Sex for the First Time for Men

Ever since the moment teenagers enter their adolescence – ideas start to shape up about having sexual intercourse. In fact, having sex is one of the most important elements of our DNA code because it enables us to continue our lineage as human beings. So, if you’re a person that’s about to have sex for the first time, then you may have some questions about it.

First of all, we must mention the fact that it’s completely okay for you to be nervous while you’re at it and in the moments leading to it. You’d be surprised at just how many men have been there before you and have felt just as afraid.

The reason as to why you may be afraid though may be because of the fact that you view sex as a performance art. You must not falter – you must be the virile alpha-male like the men you see in porn. You must rock the girl’s brains out – anything less than that and you would be deemed unmanly by her and by society as a whole – and worst of all, by yourself.

Our advice to you is to stop taking things so seriously. Perhaps it’s indeed the case that porn has instilled a picture in your mind of sex as a very straight-forward process where everyone knows their right sex position and what to do at any particular moment. But you need to know that porn is not reality in some part. You may come to awkward moments and positions while having sex and this is a normal part of the sex experiences.

And perhaps it will indeed be the case that you will fumble confusedly during your first sexual experience. The worst thing to do here is to cling to your (false) image that you will be a God in bed with a woman. Setting expectations this high may have the adverse effect of you being too frightened to do anything.

Likewise, don’t overthink things. Sex should be spontaneous. It’s okay to have a general outline of the positions that you would like to try out, but the worst thing that you could do is plan every possible detail of the experience. Don’t try to be too logical about sex. And don’t ask too many question. There’s not much more that can kill the entire atmosphere by asking questions such as “Can I put it there?” or “Can I touch you here, please?”.

You need to take your role as a man (unless you have some other system for the distribution of power, but that’s for another article) and be dominant in bed. Girls like that. Fall back on your primitive male mechanism and you will do just fine. And even if you stumble while you’re at it – it’s not the end of the world. The thing to remember here is that practice makes perfect. With time, you will be able to learn various details that will undoubtedly improve sexual performance in bed.

How to have sex with a new partner?

You have finally met someone who makes you feel happy and maybe you have already fallen in love. Your mutual attraction can be felt from miles and the sexual tension is rising. It is only a matter of time when you and your new partner will have your first sex. All these things sound nice but before you make your next move it is always a good idea to take few things into consideration.

First of all, you need to be very careful. It is a well known fact that when a relationship is fresh you have the feeling that your partner is ideal but you should know better than that. Having sex with someone that you don’t really know can be extremely dangerous. Many sexually transmitted diseases like genital herpes, syphilis, Chlamydia and HIV cannot be spotted because they don’t have any distinctive external symptoms. This is why it is really hard to tell if someone is infected with some of these diseases or not. Feel free to ask him when the last time he had a test for these diseases was. Even if he had a long serious relationship before you that doesn’t mean that his or her partner was faithful. If you want to be sure that he or she is completely healthy you should both take a test.

Once you know that you are both perfectly healthy you will certainly feel more relaxed and forget about the stress. Don’t be afraid about your sexual performance and don’t think about failures. Remember that the first sex is usually intended to get familiar with your partner and explore each other’s bodies. You can’t expect full sexual play so don’t push to hard in order to impress your partner.

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What was driving your ex partner crazy in bed doesn’t mean that it will work with your new partner too. But don’t worry about that. Exploring and researching of new reactions to certain moves and things is very interesting, fun and it will surely improve your sex life. If you start feeling that you are under a lot of pressure it is best to postpone your first sex. There is a lot of time ahead when you can freely explore your bodies. It is better to make sure that both of you are relaxed and ready for your first sexual experience.

In the past men and women usually practiced the so-called missionary sex position but those days are long gone. Today couples practice dozens of different sex positions and on top of that thing like using sex toys or practicing anal and oral sex are nothing unusual.

If you are used to more simple sex, don’t be afraid of using sex toys that your partner may have in the drawer. There is a big chance that the sex toy was brought on purpose and that she or he was planning to use during the sexual intercourse with you. Don’t refuse to have anal sex, but if your partner feels uncomfortable you should first talk about that.  

How to lose virginity without pain?

Losing virginity can be a very painful act. A lot of girls are scared of that pain and their first sexual intercourse can be very uncomfortable because of that.

Nowadays, young people are entering the world of sexy very early and it seems that in many cases their first sexual act is not a reflection of true love. That’s why many of them use inappropriate locations to experience their first sexual intercourse like the back of a car for example. This is absolutely wrong because the first sex is something that everyone remembers for the rest of their lives. This is the reason why you should choose the right environment, where you will feel safe and pleasant and you won’t have to do that in a hurry. You should choose a date when you are completely alone at home in order to be sure that no one will disturb you. 

Before the first sexual intercourse it is completely normal to feel great anxiety and that anxiety can be even greater if you are doing that in a tense environment. The anxiety can cause nervousness too and all these things make normal sex impossible.  If the environment is not right, you will feel tension and you will need additional time to relax and feel the excitement. If you are losing your virginity with someone you truly love and know make sure you create a romantic atmosphere (candles, appropriate music and even a massage can be very helpful).

The first sexual experience usually comes as a result of love, need or even curiosity. If you are planning to lose your virginity with a guy with whom you are in a long and stable relationship the situation will be much easier and you won’t feel uncomfortable during the “preparation” period. Although it’s not a good idea to lose your virginity on some party with someone that you don’t know very well, if you are in a situation like that don’t feel embarrassed to tell him that you are a virgin. If the guy doesn’t know that you are a virgin he might act a little bit more rough and that can lead to unnecessary pain and an unpleasant sexual experience. This is why you should simply tell him that you are a virgin and ask him to be gentle and slow and that he should be careful with the penetration. Those who have not used tampons yet may feel even more unpleasant because the vagina will be even tighter.

Once your boyfriend is ready to penetrate it is better to keep your thighs wide open. Adding a pillow under the hips can make the situation even better. Using a lubricant on your partner’s penis will improve the natural vaginal wetness and make the penetration less painful. Once you find the right rhythm it will be much easier. Remember that you don’t need to feel desperate if you don’t reach an orgasm because this is only your first sexual experience.  

How to really enjoy sex?

Many people are wondering why sex can’t be less complicated. The truth is that sex can be less complicated if our mind doesn’t interfere with our body and wants to control our body. Most of the people (especially in modern times) are used to believe in their thoughts and judgments and completely ignore the messages that come from their bodies. All the major institutions used for socialization like schools, companies, religious institutions and even families are preaching how we should control our drives because that’s the only way to stay out of trouble, to be respected and valued.

As we grow older, the mind starts to perform another type of control. We are starting to figure out that we should not do things that might offend or disturb anyone else. We start to behave in a way that we always try to get other people’s approval. By the time someone gets ready for his or her first sexual experience the things might get very complicated in the area of sexual relationships. You have managed to master few strategies in order to control your thoughts and manipulate the opinions and feelings of the other people. This is certainly a situation that doesn’t promise having good sex.

Being worried is one of the reasons of having bad sex. People tend to worry about everything. But the truth is that most of those worries are useless and they prevent us to reach our intimacy. Don’t let these worries control your life and block the ability to share intimate experiences with your partner.

A good sex is not just regular sex. In many cases couples consider sex as some kind of routine that must be finished a couple of times a week. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that but this is not a definition of good sex. Bringing intense emotions in the sexual relationship from time to time can mean a lot because it will deepen the relationship in general.

Good sex is a pleasant and fun experience for both partners. In those cases partners just feel the bond between them. Good sex usually doesn’t happen automatically and it’s rather a process of learning. Good sex requires few things like knowledge, skills, patience, time and practice.

A lot of people pay attention to certain techniques but good sex is linked with presence. A man or a woman that knows all the sexual techniques won’t satisfy your needs if it isn’t honest and open about his or her feelings. The techniques can be considered to be forms of intimate communication.

When we talk about sex, we usually like to compare our sex life with the sex lives of the people we know. We often get the feeling that everyone else have better sex life than we do and that they have sex more frequently. Remember that frequency doesn’t mean good sex. Would you rather have unexciting sex each night or great sex once or twice a week?

Sex is one of the greatest gifts of live, believe in yourself, believe in your partner and always talk and practice new things in your sex life.