It is a time of
grouping and fumbling, and not all of it is in the dark. Much of the cobwebbed
confusion that plagues the adolescent years exists in those teenaged minds as
they attempt to come to grips amidst their emerging sexuality. Because of the
shroud of dark secrecy that has been flung over the subject, half truths about
sex tumble, over self-delusion and jostles with antiquated falsehoods - adding
to the turbulence of these troubled years.
Below, are the compendium
of the confounding sexual myths that blight the teenage years and the 'whole
truth' answers:
Myth #1: Masturbation
Is Self-Abusive, A Dirty Word, It Makes You Week and Adversely Affects Sexual
Enjoyment
No other form of
sexual venture has been more frequently (or secretly) discussed among
teenagers, more roundly condemned by their parents and more universally
practiced by both generations.
Some teens, both
boys, and girls attribute anything that goes wrong from acne to falling hair,
to the fact that they masturbated, thus providing regular punishment for the
enjoyment of a perfectly natural activity. What's worse, 'weakness' has also
been connected with masturbation. Finally, the semen is thought to be a very
precious fluid of which each man has only a limited supply, and therefore it’s
loss through masturbation, it is feared, may cause them to lose their potency.
Many teenage girls,
too, suppress the urge to masturbate because they fear it will hurt them, stop
menstruation, retard breast growth, make them infertile, rupture the hymen or
adversely affect their capacity for sexual enjoyment later in life.
Like boys, some girls
also feel that the urge to masturbate is a sign that they are
"abnormal" in some way. These disturbed feelings may manifest themselves
in the form of psychosomatic symptoms like a headache, giddiness, shivering and
breathlessness. Some girls even worry, that masturbating could make them
pregnant.
However, the manual
stimulation of the clitoris or by any other soft object like a towel does not
cause damage. Nor will manual stimulation of the vagina rupture the hymen.
Finally, there is
nothing abnormal about masturbation unless it interferes with normal daily
activity or becomes an obsession, what is abnormal is its unnatural suppression.
Myth #2: Is It
Abnormal To Have Sex Fantasies?
From adolescence on,
fantasies become the order of the day or are kept a closely guarded secret is
the fear of being met with disgust and contempt. In girls, they are at first
usually romantic
sex fantasies about dating idolized figures like film stars, pop
singers, models, teachers, doctors, etc. Sometimes, they are more explicit or
'bold' involving situations such as stripping, violent sex and rape.
Among boys, the
fantasies are more structured. They may feel mentally "size up," feel
and enjoy the parts of a girl's body, and they often go the extent of
fantasizing the whole sexual act.
Such
"pastimes" involve the fantasizing teenagers with acquaintances or
friends in sexual activities, which dreamer would find unthinkable in reality,
and certainly embarrassing, even hurtful, to reveal. In a girl, any fantasies
that involve her father or a father figure are nearly always severely
suppressed.
It is natural for
teenagers to fantasize about those in their immediate environment (family,
school, college, and neighborhood) because of their limited exposure the
outside world. In fact, to some extent, fantasizing is helpful is shaping a
healthy sexuality provided the young boy or girl is not obsessed with them to the
extent that they interfere with normal life. Sexual fantasies are no more
dangerous than any other kind of day dreaming which also shows an upsurge in
adolescence.
Myth #3: Genital
Discharge Adversely Affects One's Health
From puberty on, most
young men naturally have nocturnal emissions (wet dreams). This happens when
the mind has been sexually stimulated during the day, or on the other hand,
because of an accumulation of sperm that needs to be released. Often, it is a
combination of both. This induces a secretion of the prostate gland, a
secretion which serves as nourishment, a vehicle and a safety cover to the
sperm. Many teenagers feel this discharge is abnormal and that it makes them
weak and ill. This again, like the mourning of the loss of semen in
masturbation, is not called for, since this emission is just a glandular
secretion.
In women, the
nocturnal emission is not as profuse. It is much less, of a more watery
consistency and manifests itself as a slight wetness. Many girls feel
embarrassed about it, and some even say they feel weak. It is a sign of a
healthy sexuality.
Myth #4: The bigger
the pennies/vagina, the greater the sexual satisfaction
Many boys and girls
in their early teenage years get worried about the adequacy of their sexual
organs. Many young girls, after their first painful, even disastrous
sexua lexperience, spend miserable months or even years try to cope with the illusion
that their vagina is 'too tight' or 'too small' to accommodate the penis. Most
fears arise from ignorance about the genitals. As with the male penis, being
sexually stimulated, the vagina also undergoes definite changes. The muscles of
the vaginal opens, relax, secrete the vaginal fluid which serves as lubrication
and in proportion to the
sexual stimulation, the depth of the vaginal cavity
increases. Worry (arising from fears about the size of the vagina) will not
allow these changes to take place. The resulting nervousness and anxiety render
the vaginal muscles rigid and impenetrable. Thus leads to painful intercourse,
setting the stage for a vicious cycle.
Among boys, most
worries concentrate on the length, shape and other dimensions of their penis,
the more high
sex drives and the greater the ability to achieve and
maintain an erection. In fact, an abnormally large penis can cause women more
sexual discomfort than pleasure. Also, penis which is small in the flaccid
state increase in size for more than larger genitals during an erection.
Besides, it is the upper third of the vagina that is most sensitive, and the
upper two third that dilates to hold the penis firmly. The lower third of the
vagina, the orgasmic platform', does not widen and so sexual satisfaction is
unaffected if the penis does not reach there.
What's more, it's not
the vagina that is the primary center for the woman's sexual sensitivity; it is
the clitoris, located at the junction of labia.
Myth #5: The First
Experience Is Always Painful
Many girls get the
impression from books, friends, and relatives that the first sexual experience
is extremely painful. The fact is that most first experiences are hasty and
lack adequate foreplay. It inhibits sufficient vaginal lubrication and makes
entry into the dry vagina painful. Besides, inadequate foreplay makes the girl
less responsive and receptive. In an effort for the teenage boy to insert his
masculinity, may use force, making it even more painful for the girl. The
vagina only becomes ready to accept
harder erection penis at a relatively advanced stage of
sexual arousal, and this is some time after it gets lubricated. An
understanding partner can help to minimize the pain to a great extent.
