Sex & you

Sex & you

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Vaginism – being scared of sex

Involuntary muscle spasm, which tightens the vaginal entrance, is very unpleasant thing that prevents woman to have normal sex life.

Vaginism, or muscle spasm at the entrance of the vagina, is activated when attempting sexual intercourse. In this way the penis is prevented to enter the vagina. This spasm literally squeezes and completely closes vagina making it impossible to open it. In most cases is has nervous origin, and it occurs due to various fears linked with sex. It may be a fear from the actual sexual intercourse, which may appear due to some uncomfortable experiences during youth. In rare cases these fears are associated with sexual assaults within family, rape or it may be a direct consequence of the violent and egoistic behavior of the partner.

Vaginal muscle spasm often occurs when a virgin tries to lose innocence. Women/girls are often very scared from the pain that may be caused by the penetration of the penis in their vagina which leads to spasms. Another situation which can lead to these spasms is when a girl is not sexually mature when she is trying to lose her virginity. So, it’s a bad idea to lose virginity only because some other girls lost their virginity or only because a girl thinks that this the right time when she is actually not physically ready for that.

Many women/girls are afraid of pregnancy and that’s why they experience vaginism - the spasm of muscles in the lower part of the vagina. Things cannot be changed even if the partner uses a condom because we are talking about paranoid fear that completely eliminates the possibility of having normal sexual intercourse. Even taking birth control pills won’t help women that feel this fear, because this is mostly psychological and not rational fear. Finally, there are women who feel guilt before they have sex. This can happen very often in women that cheat their partners or women who feel that sex before marriage is wrong. They usually don’t have problems when they have sex for the first time and vaginism develops when they have sex for the second time or in specific situations.

In many cases, women need to talk with a doctor or an expert in this field. They can explain them that the fear they feel is completely irrational. Many experts consider vaginism as a type of impotency. This is especially the case when we talk about vaginism caused by psychological reasons. Women should also talk with their partners but they can also help themselves too. By practicing masturbation women can find out when the spasms occur and what exactly is happening in their vagina. It’s a good thing to explore your own anatomy and even stop with sex that requires penetration for a while.

Those who are suffering from vaginism should know that the process of elimination of this occurrence requires time and patience. They must accept that they will have to spend some time masturbating. They should simulate penetration by using smaller objects or their fingers. Use of lubricants is strongly recommended. In this way women can get used to penetration and have actual sex with penetration after some time.