Sex & you

Sex & you

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Sexual Issues In Men

Not many guys will voluntarily acknowledge they have sexual difficulties and even fewer will seek medical help. Sexual difficulties in men are mainly as due to several variables. Some causes can be treated medically while others can be dealt with through counselling sessions ran by counselling specialists. Most of these difficulties are temporary and one need not be overly stressed particularly where they may be due to short term drug. As men age, their sexual art may be reduced although unlike girls, it's an extremely slow process. In guys, this procedure is occasionally called andropause or the male menopause. This illness is both emotional along with physical. A few of the reasons for mental issues are protracted tension, mental issues, depression or other anxiety associated illnesses.

There are several kinds of sexual issues that influence men, specifically erectile dysfunction (ED), benign prostatic hypertrophy (BPH), reduction of interest in sex and decreased testosterone. ED can result from medicines like those taken to treat hypertension. In such instances, the guy is not able to develop or even keep a hard erection. Specific illnesses including diabetes may also lead to erectile dysfunction. Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy happens when the prostate gland enlarges and some of the prostate tissue is replaced with scar-like tissue. A few of these changes in the prostate gland make the older guys most susceptible to urinary tract infections. The state may lead to difficulties like slow urination and ejaculation. It's a standard condition and changes about 50% of guys. Several of the states that influence men more often than not will cause erectile dysfunction. Sadly, a substantial percent of guys (over 50%) that experience any sexual difficulties particularly erectile dysfunction, won't seek help promptly. This may occasionally result in complications which will take more to treat.

There are many processes in which sexual issues in men can be treated. By coping with communication issues with your sexual partner, decrease of anxiety levels and seeking early treatment for ailments like high blood pressure and diabetes. If treatment for high blood pressure and diabetes is sort out on time, later issues with the urinary and sexual function can be prevented. An ageing guy will continue to love a healthy sexual life particularly when they're sexually active during their middle age span. When men seek treatment for their sexual difficulties may they be physical or emotional, they're surprised at how readily they are able to get help and many appear to begin becoming better a lot earlier than they anticipate.

The thought of not operating generally sexually is quite frightening and uncomfortable for many guys and it may require their partners encouragement and understanding before they are able to come out and seek treatment. Emotional issues occasionally come about as an effect of physiological conditions and the feeling of inadequacy as a guy, taunting or deficiency of comprehension by their sexual partners. Constantly remember, prevention is better than cure and be a specialist in sexual pleasure if essential.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Sexual practices of a different kind

Sex: An act of love or a fetish?
While some of us are content with the idea of sex being an intense expression of love, the truth lies somewhere else. The conventionally approved act yet remains under wraps of shame; but the repression caused as a result of such controlled discretion seems to be manifesting in bizarre forms. Thus, redefining the purpose of sex is a whole new level of mania and fetish being practised by people around the world. Such unique practices that deviate from the accepted form of sexual explorations come under paraphilias- sexual arousal directed towards non-conventional objects of desire.

Agalmatophilia: a fetish for inanimate objects
The reason for such fetish could lie anywhere between battered relationships to poor social skills. Most sexual repressed people express their sexual fantasy over mannequins, dolls and other pseudo-human inanimate figures. The fantasy may extend to exchange of sexual pleasure between the objects or the thought of transforming oneself into the object itself. Pygmalionism, a fetish where the person develops feeling for the statue/object made by them, is also a form of Agalmatophilia.

Salirophilia: vandalism or merely harmless fetish?
This form of paraphilia involves the fetishist distorting the appearance of the object of desire. Dishevelling the objects appearance by tearing their hair and damaging the face and clothing among other things is a sexually exciting experience for the person.

BDSM: a reformed act of slavery?
Among other bizarre practices, this is the most obsessively discussed one, thanks to the popular fictional work by EL James. There are four aspects to BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. When clubbed in pairs, for instance, bondage and discipline or Sado-masochism, they become a sexual practice. Due to its unconventionality on all levels, BDSM is celebrated as a sub-cultural practice among non-normative members such as cross-dressers, animal players, and latex and rubber aficionados among others.

Typically, conventional sexual acts are power neutral. However, BDSM allows for informed consent to enact the master-slave relationship, wherein the dominating partner occupies the tops position while the subservient other falls under the category of the bottoms. Sadists and masochists are characterized by their sexual desire to inflict and receive pain and humiliation during the act.

According to modern psychology, Sado-masochistic practices are harmless provided they cause emotional distress to the person involved. On a subjective note, the practice can be considered as a therapeutic means to de-stress from daily, mundane activities. More importantly, as long as it is consensual, there is no room for worry. Legally, however, such practices may be considered demoralizing to the individuals well being and are therefore banned under certain jurisdictions.

Considering how shady these practices are to most people, it is surprising to find certain activities being commercialised on a large scale. Take Nyotaimori, for instance. This form of paraphilia involves sushi being presented to the consumer on a naked human body. The whole act is polished to make it not look like a sexual practice- pubic hair shaved, body being cleansed and enhanced with fragrant oils among other things. This kind of food play requires the naked body to remain still for hours and withstand the cold temperature emitted by the food. The sexual experience will improve sexual performance as well.

Finally, it is evident from the above instances that it is not the fear of the act that requires attention, but its repressive forms that need to be curbed from harming civilised societies. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Few reasons why some people don’t have enough sex

If the lack of sex is on a level that starts to make you worried, maybe it’s time to find out what the core of this problem is. Of course, there is more than one reason for this unpleasant situation, so take your time do a research and maybe you will be able to solve your problem without asking for help.

One of the most common causes for lack of sex is stress. Because of the fast paced and fulfilled everyday life many couples just don’t have enough energy for intimate moments at the end of the day. Some couples find themselves living as roommates after a while. They only share responsibilities together (like bills and some tasks around the home) while the sex and the intimacy are completely gone. If stress is the reason for lack of sex in your relationship, it’s time for you and your partner to reorganize your time. If you in a middle of some really busy period try to schedule at least one evening that will be reserved just for the two of you.

Many people take their partners for granted and this is exactly why they have infrequent sexual intercourses. This feeling is usually developed after a period in which sex life became boring, lazy, full of obstacles and bad experiences. This is the moment when you both need to remember that sexual pleasures are one of the basic needs of human beings and that these pleasures can be fulfilled in the easiest and in the best way with the person we love and the person who completely understands our needs. This is of course our partner and not some stranger.

Lack of sexual desire is another reason that leads to lack of sex. This situation is usually linked with couples that have long relationship behind them. It is important to understand that this lack of interest is not because some of the partners have changed his appearance (gaining weight for example) but because people start to forget some small details like applying perfume, shaving, depilation, sexy underwear and some other things that were used in the past and that surely increased the sexual desire. This is a process of continual re-conquering of the heart of your loved one so don’t forget that.

In many cases, the moments spend in bed transform from love to routine. This is not something unusual but if one of the partners notices that it’s better to start conversation so both of them can find a solution. Keeping these things in you won’t help anyone. There is nothing unusual to talk about your sexual desires with your partner so don’t be afraid or embarrassed to start a conversation like that.

Frequent quarrels between partners usually cause decreased sexual activity but they can lead to wild sex too. Quarrels that are solved and both partners admit their mistakes lead to great sex. If the quarrels are not solved and they happen very often the partners should seek help from professional therapists.  

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Why having sex only to reach orgasm is wrong?

Many women cannot reach orgasm because they are focused on reaching it, which means that they look at sex only as a tool to reach orgasm.

You must learn how to reach orgasm and that’s a well known fact. Another well known fact is that many women are having big problems when it comes to achieving orgasm. This is why in this article we will discuss the reasons behind that. It is important to understand that some women need more stimulation to achieve intense orgasm while others need shorter time. Some of them can reach it only through oral pleasuring; others through penetration while some of them only when they are masturbating. The problem can occur if they are having sex only because of orgasms and wait for it. In other words, they don’t enjoy sex; they only consider it to be a warm up for their orgasm. This is why they are usually in a hurry and they are impatient, they start to ask themselves what is wrong and why they can’t reach orgasm faster.

If you have the necessary time, try to go slow. Why do you need to be in a hurry during sex? Take a long arousing foreplay, warm up to the maximum and then enjoy the main part of sex. Don’t focus on time. If the sex lasts for one hour let it be. Because as long as you look at the time you will make it last longer. If you enter the sex act without the burden of time or focus on orgasm, you will enjoy it more and it will certainly last shorter. But why would you want your sex to last shorter when you can enjoy it longer? Sex is a pure form of pleasure and this is why you need to enjoy it till the end and even more. Have sex without watching the clock and without thinking about the orgasm. Even if you feel like you are getting near it, slow down. If we are talking about certain sex position that is comfortable for you, try to stay in it and don’t change it. If you enjoy cunilingus, show your partner that you really like sexual enhancement.

A big problem in women who can’t reach orgasm is the fear of repeated failure. These women very often think that it is impossible for them to reach orgasm and they stop trying. That’s a huge mistake because that is simply not true. Don’t give up after trying something new for the first time. After all how many people can say that their first sex experience was comfortable? If you didn’t find oral sex or certain sex position satisfying why not try again? Don’t give up so easily because the reason for dissatisfaction may be located somewhere else. Is penis enlargement going to help?

In some cases women are unable to achieve orgasms because they are too embarrassed to tell their partner what turns them on. This women can help themselves if they talk openly with their partners use their hands to show their partners what makes them feel pleasant.      

Monday, July 14, 2014

Get couple counselling to strength and cure your relationship problems

Staying in a perfect relationship has its own difficulties and sunny days. If you have chosen your life partner, then you must be having a good life at the moment and expecting to keep enjoying life with your better half. But in some cases, the situation may alter and if may suddenly jump on a downhill movement in your wonderful relationship. For such moments, the best option is to get a couple counselling.

When should you approach a counsellor?
The most common problem that most of the modern day couples faces is the lack on time one is able to give to the other. We live in a very fast paced world. When we start a relationship, we are very much concerned and take very good care of it. In the future as you start getting busy with your work, future planning and other such thing, it might happen that you are unable to provide satisfactory sex. This creates cracks in the relation.
Other reasons may include the likes of certain misunderstanding, several family conflicts that keeps taking its toll on your relationship. Then there could be development of a feeling of being cheated or falling out of relation, which can make huge damages to your relation.

What to expect from a counsellor?
There is no strict method of counselling, it varies depending on the expertise of the practitioner. The most common method applied is getting your views of your partner. You must have must have certain liking and disliking about your partners features and characteristics. There are some characteristics that you should start liking in order to continue the relationship. Some other characteristics would be there which your partner can change to make you more comfortable.

Another thing that is focused, is what you want from life. Different peoples have different goals in life and the way they want to achieve it. It is not necessary that your partner has to love that goal, but should not be against it or the method you would use. Use goals and differences would be analysed to get the best advice for what you should be going in the future to make the sexual relationship better.

What to expect after you have gone through the sessions?
There can be different effects that the sessions will have in your relationship. It would depend on what you want from the relationship, what your counterpart wants and the extent to which you would like to compromise and be in this relationship.

·         Emotional expression –
The counselling improves the way and frequency at which you express your truest feeling to your other half for him or her to understand how you feel. More you keep to yourself, the more you are moving away from the relationship.
·         Promotes strength –
It points out the strengths of the relation and how you can maintain and making bigger with each passing day.
·         Better communication –
It also makes your ability to express everything and communicate about everything to your partner without any hesitation.

If you are wondering, you are in need to a counselling, do not wait too long as you never know when your partner would run out of patience. Counselling can also make your sex life and relationship better.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Safe Sex – How to Keep His Penis Safe During Sex?

The penis is a very sensitive organ even when it is in a state of harder erection and that’s why women should treat it carefully.

Although many women think that performing fellatio is a really easy and safe task many cases suggest that fellatio comes with certain risks. Besides the gag reflex that women have to fight with every time they perform fellatio, they have to carefully take the penis in their mouth in a way that the penis remains unharmed. The most common types of injuries during fellatio come in a form of bruises caused by teeth or penile fracture after deep throat fellatio. The second case is very often in men that have larger penises and women that are unable to relax their throat completely. This is a moment when the penis reaches a blockade cause by the rear end of the tongue and if the man pushes the penis too hard or too fast this can cause penile fracture. If the penis is not placed properly in the mouth, the glans penis can be damaged by some of the pointy teeth like incisors or molars. The consequences of this unpleasant interaction may come in a form of reddish bruises on the glans penis and in some more severe cases these bruises can start to bleed. In these cases it is very important to clean the wound and treat it because it may lead to infections.

As you have probably heard penis can completely break during sex, resulting in bending or coloring of the penis as well as presence of bumps. This is not a rare occurrence and many doctors have experience with such sexual incidents. Penile fracture is usually caused by a strong and sharp impact or bending while it is erected. Women should be especially cautious when they are on top. They should sit on the penis only when they are sure that the penis is placed right in front of the entrance of the vagina. Forcing the penis in when it is not in the right position can result in bending and fracture caused by her pubic bone. Women who practice more “wild” sex should be careful when they are on top because the penis can slip during the sex and on its way back to the vagina it may hit the pubic bone.        

Many women enjoy clitoral massage at the same time with penetration, because they can achieve faster and more intense orgasm. There is a risk for the penis that comes from the nails of the women in case it slips out of the vagina and hits the nails with the glans penis. This can result in a stabbing pain which is very uncomfortable for the man and for the sexual intercourse too.

Couples who enjoy some sexual games like using sex toys or using wax during sex should also be very careful. The wax can be very hot and it can damage the penis especially glans penis so avoid this area and use the wax only around the penis and not on it. 

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Simultaneous Orgasm

A lot of couples consider simultaneous orgasm to be something extraordinary but unreachable at the same time.  Other couples confirm from their own experience that simultaneous orgasm is completely possible. You just need to master the real techniques and know your partner well in bed. There is even a third category of people who claim that although simultaneous orgasm is possible but it is a myth and fantasy that this type of orgasm is something incredible or our of the ordinary. They describe simultaneous orgasm as something that requires a lot of efforts in order to get a small prize. It doesn’t really matter if the simultaneous orgasm is something incredible or something that is almost same as regular orgasm but the fact is that it is possible to reach simultaneous orgasm. In order to reach simultaneous orgasm you should first eliminate all those movies that you have ever watched where couples almost always reach simultaneous orgasms. This is something that cannot happen in a matter of minutes. You shouldn’t spend much time analyzing your orgasm either. This can only cause counter effects.

To be honest, we should look at simultaneous orgasm not like something divine, but rather as enrichment to our current sexual life. You should certainly not be disappointed if you can achieve such an intense orgasm and you should not focus all your energy to achieve it.

One of the main reasons why simultaneous orgasms are rare is because of the average time men and women need to achieve orgasm. Many women already have problems reaching orgasm and achieving it so fast like their partners is almost impossible for them. Another obstacle is the sex positions. You can rarely find sex positions that provide the same level of excitement for both partners. This is one of the reasons why there so many sex positions and why people usually try few positions during one sexual intercourse.  

So many people are wondering - what is the best and easiest way to reach simultaneous orgasm. Sex is often described as a game with certain rules. You don’t want to use shortcuts in this game at least not if you aim to be successful. If you don’t find time for foreplay and/or the man cannot hold his ejaculation for long time you won’t be able to reach simultaneous orgasm. So first of all, both partners should learn how to restrain themselves. This rule especially applies for men. One of the most obvious signs that a man is near his orgasm is when his testicles tighten up toward the penis. When the woman notices this sign she should push gently her man in order to give him a sign in case he doesn’t notice.

Choosing the right sex position can also be very helpful for this process. The most important thing is to find a position where the woman has free access to her clitoris so she can stimulate it in case she can’t achieve orgasm at the same time with her man. 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Birth Control: How Not to Get Pregnant

Thousands of women want to know how not to get pregnant against their will. Birth control and planned parenthood are amongst the most sensitive, most debated areas of sex and sexual health. Safe sex is part of your well-being. One occasion of carelessness is enough to turn your life upside down – so it is important to know how not to get pregnant. Always use protection.

Birth control includes all the methods that you can use to prevent pregnancy: birth control pills, condoms, intrauterine devices, vasectomy, tubal ligation, hysterecotomy (partial or radical).

How Not to Get Pregnant: Hormonal Contraception

Hormonal contraceptives are safe. If you want to know how not to get pregnant, read the following list of hormonal methods.

Combined oral contraceptives, commonly known as birth control pills, are amongst your safest choices. These pills contain hormones named progestin and estrogen. This method has a failure rate of 0.5 percent if used perfectly, its typical failure rate is 9%. It is important to follow your gynecologist’s advice and read the medicine label carefully. It is best if you take your pill at the very same time every single day, for instance, 10.05 p.m. The more accurate you are, the less risk you take.

Progestin only pill or minipill has a failure rate of 9%. It does not contain estrogen. Take the pills at the same time every single day.

An intrauterine device is a T-shaped contraceptive device that a doctor will insert in your womb. It is a long-term solution. It may cause menstrual bleeding that is heavier than usual, and it can cause other painful symptoms like cramps during your period. Its failure rate is low. A copper T intrauterine device can stay inserted in the womb for ten years, it has a failure rate of 0.8%. A hormonal IUD, known as levonorgesterel intrauterine system, LNG IUD, can stay within your womb for five years, its failure rate is 0.2%.

An implant is the safest solution, with a failure rate of 0.05%. Your doctor will insert it beneath your skin on your upper arm. The tiny device contains progestin, released in your body throughout 3 years.
Injections are safe, too, they contain the hormone progestin. You can get a shot every three months. The failure rate is 6 percent, somewhat lower than that of the pill.

Patch should be worn on your lower body – buttocks, abdomen – or upper body, except for the breasts. It releases progestin and estrogen into your system. Put on a new patch every week for three weeks, on the fourth week, you are supposed to have your period. Its failure rate is 9 %, for women over 200 pounds it is higher.

Hormonal vaginal contraceptive ring: you put it inside your vagina and wear it for three weeks. Remove it for a week to have your period, then use another ring. Its failure rate is nine percent.
Emergency contraception must not be used often. It is for cases when you did not use any protection or when protection failed. You can take emergency contraception pills up to 5 days after having sex unprotected.

Barrier Methods

Take your time to learn about methods of how not to get pregnant.
Barrier methods are much less safe than hormonal contraceptives. Do not use them if you want to avoid getting pregnant at any cost.
Diaphragms have a failure rate of 12 percent. Male condoms are good enough to protect you from sexually transmitted diseases, but when it comes to unwanted pregnancy, their failure rate is considerable, 18%. Female condoms have an even higher risk, a failure rate of 21 percent. Spermicides have a failure rate close to 30 percent, which means using them is never a safe option.

Permanent Methods of How Not To Get Pregnant

If you are sure that you do not want children, your best option of how not to get pregnant is contraceptive sterilization.
If you have a radical hysterecotomy or you just get your ovaries removed, you have no chance to get pregnant ever again. If you have a partial hysterecotomy, you leave your ovaries intact, but you get your whole womb removed, you cannot get pregnant. No risk is involved here.
Tubal ligation has a low failure rate, 0,1%. Transcervical sterilization is also safe, with a failure rate of 0,1%. Vasectomy has a similarly low failure rate.

Unsafe Ways

Hopefully you know that the rhythm method and interrupted coitus are absolutely unsafe ways of how to not get pregnant. Even the most vehement naturalists admit that time and again they “result in the births of wonderful children”.


Abortion and abortion pill are emergency methods for birth control, only for cases when other protective methods have already failed. There are unfortunate situations in life when it can be an option.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

How to lose virginity without pain?

Losing virginity can be a very painful act. A lot of girls are scared of that pain and their first sexual intercourse can be very uncomfortable because of that.

Nowadays, young people are entering the world of sexy very early and it seems that in many cases their first sexual act is not a reflection of true love. That’s why many of them use inappropriate locations to experience their first sexual intercourse like the back of a car for example. This is absolutely wrong because the first sex is something that everyone remembers for the rest of their lives. This is the reason why you should choose the right environment, where you will feel safe and pleasant and you won’t have to do that in a hurry. You should choose a date when you are completely alone at home in order to be sure that no one will disturb you. 

Before the first sexual intercourse it is completely normal to feel great anxiety and that anxiety can be even greater if you are doing that in a tense environment. The anxiety can cause nervousness too and all these things make normal sex impossible.  If the environment is not right, you will feel tension and you will need additional time to relax and feel the excitement. If you are losing your virginity with someone you truly love and know make sure you create a romantic atmosphere (candles, appropriate music and even a massage can be very helpful).

The first sexual experience usually comes as a result of love, need or even curiosity. If you are planning to lose your virginity with a guy with whom you are in a long and stable relationship the situation will be much easier and you won’t feel uncomfortable during the “preparation” period. Although it’s not a good idea to lose your virginity on some party with someone that you don’t know very well, if you are in a situation like that don’t feel embarrassed to tell him that you are a virgin. If the guy doesn’t know that you are a virgin he might act a little bit more rough and that can lead to unnecessary pain and an unpleasant sexual experience. This is why you should simply tell him that you are a virgin and ask him to be gentle and slow and that he should be careful with the penetration. Those who have not used tampons yet may feel even more unpleasant because the vagina will be even tighter.

Once your boyfriend is ready to penetrate it is better to keep your thighs wide open. Adding a pillow under the hips can make the situation even better. Using a lubricant on your partner’s penis will improve the natural vaginal wetness and make the penetration less painful. Once you find the right rhythm it will be much easier. Remember that you don’t need to feel desperate if you don’t reach an orgasm because this is only your first sexual experience.