Sex & you

Sex & you

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

What makes a really good sex?

The concept of good sex is a topic that is widely exploited by both media and people in their everyday conversations. There are entire sections in the libraries where you can find books about “How to achieve intense orgasm”, “How to realize your sexual potential” and other similar titles.
Most of us, influenced by romantic movies, TV shows and romance novels, are driven by the idea that the automatic arousal in response to the opposite sex and the famous butterflies in the belly are necessary prerequisite for good sex. But, what are actually these butterflies?

The butterflies are nothing else but a more beautiful name for a completely natural nervousness ahead of sexual intercourse. The first time you make love with someone, it is quite logical to enter this new experience with a certain sense of fear and unease. Just as our complete personality is a target of evaluation by the potential partner on our first date, when it comes to sexual relationship our body is the object of evaluation of the new partner before the first sexual intercourse. Therefore, it is very natural that on the eve of sexual intercourse we feel uncomfortable to some extent. However, only moderate discomfort is not the same as expressed feelings of fear and anxiety related to our own sexual competence.

Although most people love to talk and brag about their innovative sexual techniques and the way they can be applied, there is only a small number of people who will share their experience (which is actually natural) in which they felt unpleasant and uncomfortable during the first sexual intercourse with their new partner.

At the present time, which is characterized by a clear race for the confirmation of our own abilities, sex has become one of the instruments that are used as a tool to prove something. That’s why it is not surprising that a large number of people engage in sex as in one of the many activities that prove their worth. The prices we pay for this way of looking at sexuality are fears related to our sexual competence. Having sex with an idea that we must show off, usually leads to inability to maintain a hard erection in men and inability to reach orgasm in women. In this way, instead of practicing sex a way to relax, enjoy and achieve closeness, sex becomes a cause for concern in an increasing number of people around the world. Anxiety and fear are the main obstacles to achieving good sex and it is therefore very important to look at the factors that contribute to their occurrence.

One of the factors that lead to difficulties in sexual arousal in men is the so-called spectatoring – observing in which a man is focused on noticing erectile problems instead of enjoying the experience.   A common consequence of this tendency is weakening of the sexual arousal. A similar thing is present in every woman who has difficulties to reach orgasm. The more they tell themselves that they need to reach an orgasm the less chances they have to achieve orgasm because they are not focused on the erotic sensations which lead to orgasm.

If you are able to overcome these problems and relax, a good sex is guaranteed.