Universal Sexual Myths Among Teenagers

It is a time of grouping and fumbling, and not all of it is in the dark. Much of the cobwebbed confusion that plagues the adolescent years exists in those teenaged minds as they attempt to come to grips amidst their emerging sexuality. Because of the shroud of dark secrecy that has been flung over the subject, half truths about sex tumble, over self-delusion and jostles with antiquated falsehoods - adding to the turbulence of these troubled years.

Below, are the compendium of the confounding sexual myths that blight the teenage years and the 'whole truth' answers:

Myth #1: Masturbation Is Self-Abusive, A Dirty Word, It Makes You Week and Adversely Affects Sexual Enjoyment

No other form of sexual venture has been more frequently (or secretly) discussed among teenagers, more roundly condemned by their parents and more universally practiced by both generations.

Some teens, both boys, and girls attribute anything that goes wrong from acne to falling hair, to the fact that they masturbated, thus providing regular punishment for the enjoyment of a perfectly natural activity. What's worse, 'weakness' has also been connected with masturbation. Finally, the semen is thought to be a very precious fluid of which each man has only a limited supply, and therefore it’s loss through masturbation, it is feared, may cause them to lose their potency.

Many teenage girls, too, suppress the urge to masturbate because they fear it will hurt them, stop menstruation, retard breast growth, make them infertile, rupture the hymen or adversely affect their capacity for sexual enjoyment later in life.

Like boys, some girls also feel that the urge to masturbate is a sign that they are "abnormal" in some way. These disturbed feelings may manifest themselves in the form of psychosomatic symptoms like a headache, giddiness, shivering and breathlessness. Some girls even worry, that masturbating could make them pregnant.

However, the manual stimulation of the clitoris or by any other soft object like a towel does not cause damage. Nor will manual stimulation of the vagina rupture the hymen.

Finally, there is nothing abnormal about masturbation unless it interferes with normal daily activity or becomes an obsession, what is abnormal is its unnatural suppression.

Myth #2: Is It Abnormal To Have Sex Fantasies?

From adolescence on, fantasies become the order of the day or are kept a closely guarded secret is the fear of being met with disgust and contempt. In girls, they are at first usually romantic sex fantasies about dating idolized figures like film stars, pop singers, models, teachers, doctors, etc. Sometimes, they are more explicit or 'bold' involving situations such as stripping, violent sex and rape.

Among boys, the fantasies are more structured. They may feel mentally "size up," feel and enjoy the parts of a girl's body, and they often go the extent of fantasizing the whole sexual act.

Such "pastimes" involve the fantasizing teenagers with acquaintances or friends in sexual activities, which dreamer would find unthinkable in reality, and certainly embarrassing, even hurtful, to reveal. In a girl, any fantasies that involve her father or a father figure are nearly always severely suppressed.

It is natural for teenagers to fantasize about those in their immediate environment (family, school, college, and neighborhood) because of their limited exposure the outside world. In fact, to some extent, fantasizing is helpful is shaping a healthy sexuality provided the young boy or girl is not obsessed with them to the extent that they interfere with normal life. Sexual fantasies are no more dangerous than any other kind of day dreaming which also shows an upsurge in adolescence.

Myth #3: Genital Discharge Adversely Affects One's Health

From puberty on, most young men naturally have nocturnal emissions (wet dreams). This happens when the mind has been sexually stimulated during the day, or on the other hand, because of an accumulation of sperm that needs to be released. Often, it is a combination of both. This induces a secretion of the prostate gland, a secretion which serves as nourishment, a vehicle and a safety cover to the sperm. Many teenagers feel this discharge is abnormal and that it makes them weak and ill. This again, like the mourning of the loss of semen in masturbation, is not called for, since this emission is just a glandular secretion.

In women, the nocturnal emission is not as profuse. It is much less, of a more watery consistency and manifests itself as a slight wetness. Many girls feel embarrassed about it, and some even say they feel weak. It is a sign of a healthy sexuality.

Myth #4: The bigger the pennies/vagina, the greater the sexual satisfaction

Many boys and girls in their early teenage years get worried about the adequacy of their sexual organs. Many young girls, after their first painful, even disastrous sexua lexperience, spend miserable months or even years try to cope with the illusion that their vagina is 'too tight' or 'too small' to accommodate the penis. Most fears arise from ignorance about the genitals. As with the male penis, being sexually stimulated, the vagina also undergoes definite changes. The muscles of the vaginal opens, relax, secrete the vaginal fluid which serves as lubrication and in proportion to the sexual stimulation, the depth of the vaginal cavity increases. Worry (arising from fears about the size of the vagina) will not allow these changes to take place. The resulting nervousness and anxiety render the vaginal muscles rigid and impenetrable. Thus leads to painful intercourse, setting the stage for a vicious cycle.

Among boys, most worries concentrate on the length, shape and other dimensions of their penis, the more high sex drives and the greater the ability to achieve and maintain an erection. In fact, an abnormally large penis can cause women more sexual discomfort than pleasure. Also, penis which is small in the flaccid state increase in size for more than larger genitals during an erection. Besides, it is the upper third of the vagina that is most sensitive, and the upper two third that dilates to hold the penis firmly. The lower third of the vagina, the orgasmic platform', does not widen and so sexual satisfaction is unaffected if the penis does not reach there.

What's more, it's not the vagina that is the primary center for the woman's sexual sensitivity; it is the clitoris, located at the junction of labia.

Myth #5: The First Experience Is Always Painful

Many girls get the impression from books, friends, and relatives that the first sexual experience is extremely painful. The fact is that most first experiences are hasty and lack adequate foreplay. It inhibits sufficient vaginal lubrication and makes entry into the dry vagina painful. Besides, inadequate foreplay makes the girl less responsive and receptive. In an effort for the teenage boy to insert his masculinity, may use force, making it even more painful for the girl. The vagina only becomes ready to accept harder erection penis at a relatively advanced stage of sexual arousal, and this is some time after it gets lubricated. An understanding partner can help to minimize the pain to a great extent.

Treatment of premature ejaculation in old men

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common problems in men of all ages. This is a case of inability to control and postpone ejaculation in the first moments of sexual intercourse. Although there is no clear definition which period of time can be considered to be premature, many experts consider ejaculation that occurs in less than 120 seconds to be premature.

The truth is that it can happen at any age and it occurs in acute or chronic form. During their active sexual life, the vast majority of men experience this problem. Although this problem is more frequent in young men, there is a huge number of senior citizens who have to deal with this issue too. Now let’s see how we have a treatment for premature ejaculation.

Redirecting thoughts

This is one of the most interesting and most popular treatments used in cases of premature ejaculation. Many men practice this method unconsciously and it has proven to be very efficient in cases of increased state of excitement and in men who occasionally deal with this problem. It is crucial to recognize the moment before ejaculation happens. Once you identify this moment, try to think about something else, something that is boring and uninteresting or anything that is not related to sexual excitement. You can think about things that can actually turn you off. Of course, you should avoid thinking about this for a long period of time because you might lose erection.

Squeezing

This is a method that you can perform alone or with the help of your partner. The method is based on adding pressure on the top of the penis (glans penis). The pressure needs to be carried out for a period of 20 seconds right before the ejaculation kicks in. You should avoid stimulation for about half a minute. The short-term loss of erection is not unusual. This method can be performed as many times as you want.

Viagra

This drug used by many senior citizens is primarily used to achieve stronger erection. But, the fact is that it can help people in cases of premature ejaculation too. There are many men who claim that they can postpone their ejaculation and keep their erection once they ejaculate for the first time. Viagra can help you achieve second erection faster.

Learn more about your body

Knowing your own body is the key to success. With the help of masturbation you will learn more about your body and feelings. In this way you will also learn how to control ejaculation and gain the necessary self-confidence. Masturbation before the sexual intercourse begins will decrease the level of excitement and increase the level of self-control.

Extend the foreplay

Instead of focusing on your own body, focus on your partner during foreplay and take her to a level of high sexual arousal before you penetrate. In this way, your time to reach ejaculation will become closer to the time needed for your partner to reach an intense orgasm.    

What makes a really good sex?

The concept of good sex is a topic that is widely exploited by both media and people in their everyday conversations. There are entire sections in the libraries where you can find books about “How to achieve intense orgasm”, “How to realize your sexual potential” and other similar titles.

Most of us, influenced by romantic movies, TV shows and romance novels, are driven by the idea that the automatic arousal in response to the opposite sex and the famous butterflies in the belly are necessary prerequisite for good sex. But, what are actually these butterflies?

The butterflies are nothing else but a more beautiful name for a completely natural nervousness ahead of sexual intercourse. The first time you make love with someone, it is quite logical to enter this new experience with a certain sense of fear and unease. Just as our complete personality is a target of evaluation by the potential partner on our first date, when it comes to sexual relationship our body is the object of evaluation of the new partner before the first sexual intercourse. Therefore, it is very natural that on the eve of sexual intercourse we feel uncomfortable to some extent. However, only moderate discomfort is not the same as expressed feelings of fear and anxiety related to our own sexual competence.

Although most people love to talk and brag about their innovative sexual techniques and the way they can be applied, there is only a small number of people who will share their experience (which is actually natural) in which they felt unpleasant and uncomfortable during the first sexual intercourse with their new partner.

At the present time, which is characterized by a clear race for the confirmation of our own abilities, sex has become one of the instruments that are used as a tool to prove something. That’s why it is not surprising that a large number of people engage in sex as in one of the many activities that prove their worth. The prices we pay for this way of looking at sexuality are fears related to our sexual competence. Having sex with an idea that we must show off, usually leads to inability to maintain a hard erection in men and inability to reach orgasm in women. In this way, instead of practicing sex a way to relax, enjoy and achieve closeness, sex becomes a cause for concern in an increasing number of people around the world. Anxiety and fear are the main obstacles to achieving good sex and it is therefore very important to look at the factors that contribute to their occurrence.

One of the factors that lead to difficulties in sexual arousal in men is the so-called spectatoring – observing in which a man is focused on noticing erectile problems instead of enjoying the experience.   A common consequence of this tendency is weakening of the sexual arousal. A similar thing is present in every woman who has difficulties to reach orgasm. The more they tell themselves that they need to reach an orgasm the less chances they have to achieve orgasm because they are not focused on the erotic sensations which lead to orgasm.

If you are able to overcome these problems and relax, a good sex is guaranteed. 

Sexual practices of a different kind

Sex: An act of love or a fetish?

While some of us are content with the idea of sex being an intense expression of love, the truth lies somewhere else. The conventionally approved act yet remains under wraps of shame; but the repression caused as a result of such controlled discretion seems to be manifesting in bizarre forms. Thus, redefining the purpose of sex is a whole new level of mania and fetish being practised by people around the world. Such unique practices that deviate from the accepted form of sexual explorations come under paraphilias- sexual arousal directed towards non-conventional objects of desire.

Agalmatophilia: a fetish for inanimate objects

The reason for such fetish could lie anywhere between battered relationships to poor social skills. Most sexual repressed people express their sexual fantasy over mannequins, dolls and other pseudo-human inanimate figures. The fantasy may extend to exchange of sexual pleasure between the objects or the thought of transforming oneself into the object itself. Pygmalionism, a fetish where the person develops feeling for the statue/object made by them, is also a form of Agalmatophilia.

Salirophilia: vandalism or merely harmless fetish?

This form of paraphilia involves the fetishist distorting the appearance of the object of desire. Dishevelling the objects appearance by tearing their hair and damaging the face and clothing among other things is a sexually exciting experience for the person.

BDSM: a reformed act of slavery?

Among other bizarre practices, this is the most obsessively discussed one, thanks to the popular fictional work by EL James. There are four aspects to BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. When clubbed in pairs, for instance, bondage and discipline or Sado-masochism, they become a sexual practice. Due to its unconventionality on all levels, BDSM is celebrated as a sub-cultural practice among non-normative members such as cross-dressers, animal players, and latex and rubber aficionados among others.

Typically, conventional sexual acts are power neutral. However, BDSM allows for informed consent to enact the master-slave relationship, wherein the dominating partner occupies the tops position while the subservient other falls under the category of the bottoms. Sadists and masochists are characterized by their sexual desire to inflict and receive pain and humiliation during the act.

According to modern psychology, Sado-masochistic practices are harmless provided they cause emotional distress to the person involved. On a subjective note, the practice can be considered as a therapeutic means to de-stress from daily, mundane activities. More importantly, as long as it is consensual, there is no room for worry. Legally, however, such practices may be considered demoralizing to the individuals well being and are therefore banned under certain jurisdictions.

Considering how shady these practices are to most people, it is surprising to find certain activities being commercialised on a large scale. Take Nyotaimori, for instance. This form of paraphilia involves sushi being presented to the consumer on a naked human body. The whole act is polished to make it not look like a sexual practice- pubic hair shaved, body being cleansed and enhanced with fragrant oils among other things. This kind of food play requires the naked body to remain still for hours and withstand the cold temperature emitted by the food. The sexual experience will improve sexual performance as well.

Finally, it is evident from the above instances that it is not the fear of the act that requires attention, but its repressive forms that need to be curbed from harming civilised societies.