Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Converse for a better sex life
Communication is key in any relationship. Communication about sex can be difficult; even though most adults participate, they still find it difficult to discuss it. One of the key issues in discussion is embarrassment. Secondary is that women typically use more words than a man, often these words can be large or complicated which are just a bit harder to be processed. The last most common problem is fear.
Embarrassment is hard to overcome, the most important thing to remember is that there is a very good chance your partner has some changes they would like to make in their sex life. While some people find it no problem to talk about sex, others find it a very awkward topic. There is nothing wrong with telling your partner you are embarrassed about the topic. Using code words, or scientific names might be easier for you. Some people prefer Penis or Vagina; others find it easier to talk about Clams and Sausages,
Women use larger words and more of them. While men are often straight to the point, “wanna have sex tonight” women are usually more subtle and this can be a problem for others to understand. Women may be lack of libido than men, you may need to heat up the situation. Women also tend to use technical terms. While men are usually pretty astute on sexual position, women still baffle them on occasion. Men do not ask for directions in a car, forget about in the bedroom. Be clear and use simple tears. “I’d like you to rub my breasts while we fuck” is a clear message; nothing will be lost in transition. “Using I wish you touched me more in the bedroom” is vague and may not get the effects you want.
Fear of rejection is last. This is especially hard if you are interested in something ‘out there’ or taboo. It is better to be honest, make it clear that your sexual desire do not have to happen but you are interested. Trying new positions is just the start. Ice, heat, restraints and toys are all possible acts to spice up your love life. If you find it difficult to just broach the subject, one way is to locate a porn movie with the acts you are interested in, while the movie is playing a simple comment like “that looks interesting” or “we should give that a try” usually will spark a conversation, or action.
Communication is always key, everyone communicates differently, but the basics remain, be clear about your needs and wants. Do not expect to get everything you want while giving nothing your partner wants. Compromise is key; a conversation can lead nowhere if compromise is not an option.